Mini-Library

Yesterday afternoon I rearranged my book shelves to make it more favorable to the eyes. Aside from my family, there are no lookers/expectators. I just want it to be organized and clutter-free, basically to please myself.

There is no specific segregation scheme whatsoever for the moment. I’ll come up with a good one soon. This would suffice for now.

***

Photo taken by me.

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Jostein Gaardner's Through A Glass, Darkly

This is my first attempt to review a book since after high school; hopefully I could come up with nice one. I have forgotten the technicalities of book reviews so this initial try and probably the few succeeding reviews, should I say, are “trial-and-error” writing experimentations until I come up with my own style. Basically, this first one is just what-goes-on-in-my-head-and-I-don’t-give-a-damn sort of thing.

Why do book reviews? I’m a self-confessed bookworm and I feel that my opinions on a particular book would be put into neurotic garbage if I share it only with myself.

Here it goes:

Book: Through A Glass, Darkly
Author: Jostein Gaarder

I came across this book through TMC’s book club. It’s a story of a terminally-ill girl, Cecilia and her personal contact with an angel named Ariel. Everybody in the household knew that she was dying, except Cecilia herself. Though the specific disease was not mentioned in the book, it was vividly clear that she became weaker as the day moved on.

The story started during the Christmas season, a few days before Christmas to be exact. Cecilia, through their annual celebrations, has had perfect images on how to spend Christmas with familys. She was eager to be part of the activities, even to the point of being stubborn. She knew what she wanted and demanded to the highest levels just to get it. Then she met Ariel, an angel far different from what Cecilia imagined angels to look like. This angel was totally fascinated with human life and he tried everything to extract information from Cecilia on how it feels like to live. On the other hand, Cecilia doubted the existence of Ariel and demanded for proofs of his divinity. They agreed to exchange information in the hope of helping each other understand the nature of their worlds.

As the days passed, their friendship became deeper. Though Cecilia became weaker day-by-day, her wisdom on heavenly persona and matters increased vastly, making her prepared to face her inevitable and soon-coming death.

Through A Glass, Darkly is a sad book about dying. It has a different view about divine life, though not totally absurd. Ariel, for example, was described as having no hair and wings. He looks like a child though he’s been around since Creation.

The setting and timing added to its gloomy plot. Who would want to have a dying family member on Christmas season? It was also winter when this story took place, signifying coldness and loneliness. These 2 winter characteristics could be metaphorically compared with death and dying.

Mystiques say that angels communicate with living people through sleep. One could view this as Ariel’s way of communicating with Cecilia. For one, every contact with Ariel happened when Cecilia suddenly awakened from sleep. The angel never showed himself to other members of the family. Lastly, whenever the Angel was around, Cecilia was jolly and strong, unlike when she was with her family.

I feel that the book came short in the end. If I would come up with my own ending, I would leave signs for Cecilia’s family that she is now peaceful, so they too could have peace of mind. There was no mention of the family during her time of death. It was just Cecilia, moving to the other side of the glass, never coming back.

I believe in what the author is trying to convey. Life is like looking through a glass. It is full of mysteries and we only have the slightest idea about it. We see things as it is, like staring at a window. For us to have a better understanding, we need to move to the other side. In this story, for us to get a better glimpse of life, we have to go to the other side of its glass – experience death and live in eternity.

I am not really fond of sad stories, but I found this book inspiring and insightful in a way or another. It's a good read for people into such kinds of novels. The words used are light and easy to understand making it recommendable even to children ages 9 and up.

I would give it 3.5 stars (5 is the highest, of course).

***
I’m thinking of starting a TMC book club for nurses and other health care providers. What do you think Pauer? =D

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Not again?!?!

Yesterday afternoon I underwent my 2nd Incision and Drainage in a month, this time on my right forearm. This has become my body's painful habit, without my consciousness knowing it.

Click here if you want to laugh at me.

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Vote Earth

On March 28, 2009:

"Switch off your lights from 8:30 - 9:30 PM"

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We Gather Light to Scatter

"Oldest born, greatest known."

For more information log on to www.upsilon.com .

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Others Sing Through Their Guitar Strings

My sister sent me a copy of this video. I don't know how to upload the copy to blogspot so I just copied the youtube link to this site.

Perfecto De Castro or Perf was Rivermaya's axeman in their first self-titled album. He then became a member of the Triaxis band. He was Francis M.'s guest guitarist and music collaborator in Freeman 1 and 2.

In this video, Perf used a 10-string classical guitar. He has done various projects using such instrument. This instrumental version of Kaleidoscope World is his tribute to his friend and fellow musician Francis M. Indeed, Perf is one of our best guitarists today.

Video taken from Perf's youtube site.

Cellulitis?

My right forearm has all the signs of inflammation: swelling, redness, warmness, pain, and possibly pus (from the closed wound). My pain scale reaches to 7/10, without any painkiller. It is so swollen, I could hardly stretch it. Its worse when the pain attacks.

I’ll be on sick-leave tomorrow. Indefinitely.

Kwentong Barya

Nagbalik sa U.P. upang magbayad
Ng papeles halagang bente-sagad
Buti Disyembre ngayon
Mga estudyante nasa bakasyon

Naglakad mula kolehiyo hanggang Faura
Sa ilalim ng kainitan ng umaga
Naisip ko sa Rob dumaan
Upang damit at noo ‘di pawisan

Tumambad sa akin pagsapit sa kahera
Tama ang hinala, pangalawa ako sa pila
Hindi kailangan magmadali
Matatapos ito sa isang saglit

Binibini sa aking harap Roxas ang tangan
Halagang sisenta kanyang babayaran
Aking naulinagan, tanong ng kahera
“Miss, wala ka bang barya?”

Kinapa ko mamiso sa aking bulsa
Binilang lahat, kinse lang ang kwenta
Sinilip ko ang lumang pitaka
Maingat na dinukot gusot na singkwenta

Naalala ko mga kahera sa Jollibee
Ika’y tatanungin, “Do you have a smaller bill?”
Ngayon iba ang aking natunghayan
Walang barya sa iniingatang kaban

Pinilit ko iabot ang hawak na singkwenta
Baka sakaling may panukling trenta
Inulit muli ang narinig kanina
“Sir, wala ka bang barya?”

Kalbong ulo aking kinamot
Huminga ng malalim sabay tumalikod
Nag-isip kung sino ang magpapalit
Sa aking salaping kipit-kipit

Sa tindahan ng palamig may aleng naawa
“Sir gusto mo ba talaga ng barya?”
Tumango ako at pinakinggan
Kalansing ng piso sa aking harapan

Bumalik ako sa naghihintay na kahera
Aking inabot benteng barya
Sa wakas natapos din
Ang mabaryang usapin

Nakakatawang isipin, kaherang walang pera
Malaking kaban na walang barya
Kahera na kulang ang salapi
Kaya eto, walang panukli.

- isang tunay na pangyayari -



***
This poem was composed Dec. 15, 2006 -- one of my very few attempts on Filipino Poetry. It happened when I was paying for something, which I totally forgot now, at the Registrar's Office, UP Manila.

I miss writing poems.

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Naked

I left my bag in Sir Otep’s car. In it are two highly-valued possessions: the book I am currently reading (David Seharis’ Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim) and my iPod Nano.

The book is negotiable. Of course I could always start a new book. But I’m a little OC when it comes to reading; I finish what I started and cannot move on to another book without flipping ‘til the last page. My iPod, albeit obsolete, is one of my treasures.

I feel naked whenever I’m out without them.

The Proxy Story

(As told by FM)

Proxy shirts first appeared in the music video of Superproxy 2k6 -- Francis M.’s remake of the Eraserheads’ song “Superproxy” (from the Cutterpillow album). Back then it was not yet for sale.

Francis M. wore the shirt again during the LivELY Benefit Concert at Eastwood (January 27, 2007)– a fundraising concert for Ely’s hospitalization – 2 weeks after the former Eheads vocalist suffered a heart attack.

Francis M. included the shimmering red heart in the design a month after the concert to promote cardiac health awareness. He then made it available for purchase online; percentage of the income would go to Ely’s hospital bills and the planned Heartist Foundation.

Basically, the “proxy” shirts are FM’s gift and tribute to Ely.

dreams be dreams

You know how some people say that the dead usually communicate through our dreams? Well, I had one weird dream...

I was a private nurse for FM. The setting was in a house, though I am not sure if it was his because I haven’t been there. Though in my dream, the ownership was there, so we could say, for the purpose of this story, that I was in his house.

He was lying flat on bed, in a room vividly not a bedroom but probably a part of the living room. Again, I am not certain about his exact location. All I could remember is that the room was adjacent to the dining area.

In my dream, FM was in a very troubling discomfort. It was as if all his body joints were in moderate-severe pain, just like what he used to experience every after chemotherapy. There were no apparent signs that he was in emergent distress. He was not having chest pains or difficulty of breathing. But it was obvious that he was suffering.

FM asked for a medicine, though in my dream the drug’s name was not clearly stated. All I could recall is that the drug he was asking for is an opiate. Opiates are potent pain killers which cause sedation. In my sleep, he was pleading for this drug and it seemed like he wants to be sedated for good just to put an end to his misery.

This is what I recalled from our conversation:

FM: “Ted, please give me the medicine.”

Me: “Sir, it could sedate you again. I’ll ask for another pain reliever na lang.” (Nurse’s note: FM was prescribed Oxycontin during one of his hospitalizations and became disoriented after 2 days of drug use. His wife refused it after.)

FM: “Okay lang Ted. I just wanna end this.”

Me: “Are you sure you want this sir?”

FM: “Yes, Ted.”

I nodded, not to agree, but as a gesture of surrender.

I wrote something on a pad. I think it was a request for the drug. I handed it to somebody not clearly revealed in my dream. Then FM, with a smile, motioned for me to come near him. I walked towards his bed and squatted beside him.

FM: “Thanks Ted. Thank you so much for everything.”

Then he touched my nape, pulled my head down and kissed my forehead.

After that, I went home. Then a household member broke the news that FM just passed away in peace.

***

Skeptics would say it's just a dream. I don't give a damn.

FM's Wake

I went to Christ the King Church, Green Meadows early this evening to pay my respects to the Master Rapper. Even though the fans could only visit from 6 AM to 6 PM, the church was still crowded. I recognized some of the persons there – in our society they are called celebrities. About half of the population is family, immediate and distant. Some are close friends of the Magalonas, and they still look showbiz to me. Fans still come and go, but only a few stay for an hour or more. Paparazzis are scattered everywhere; I wonder what scoop they could get from the celebrity mourners.

We arrived halfway to the mass (I went there with Mae and JL). After the final blessing, the choir sang Kaleidoscope World, a capella. It was a good version and I can’t help but get teary-eyed as we chanted along. Then we slowly walked to the coffin to see Sir Francis. I had the opportunity to introduce my companions to Ma’am Pia. I was flattered when she said, “Ted is really close to us.”

My tears fell when I saw FM’s corpse. The last time I saw him was in the ICU, shortly after he died. It felt extremely saddening to see his lifeless body. The sound system did not help at all; most of his famous songs were being played. Then my memories of him flashed in my mind like moving photographs in a slide show, vivid and full of life, as if he was still alive yesterday.

Francis M. has already proven his immortality.

***
Mrs. Pia Arroyo-Magalona shook hundreds of hands and probably kissed more cheeks. From my observation, it seemed like she exchanged pleasantries with a warm smile and sincere gratitude. Her eyes looked different though, far from what I used to see during her husband’s hospitalization – full of sorrow and stress. I still wonder how she is coping with all these.

She’s a great, strong woman. She deserves higher honor and respect.

Quote of the Week

“Love and hate don’t seem to cancel each other out. They can coexist and drive you mad.”

-- Erich Segal in Man, Woman, and Child